|
Hilarious Headlines:
- Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Found Dead In Cemetery
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Cocks Bust the Trojans
- Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee
- Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out
- Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders
- Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
- Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
- Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
- Miners Refuse to Work After Death
- Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to Do Better
Kooky Classifieds
- Illiterate? Write today for free help.
- Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
- Three-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.
- Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
- Used Cars. Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
- Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated.
- Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
- Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
- Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days.
- 2 wire mesh butchering gloves, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15
- Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
- Stock up and save. Limit: one.
- Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale
- Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
- Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
- For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
|