Things You Don't Want to Hear in Surgery


 

  • "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

  • "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

  • "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

  • "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

  • "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

  • "Hand me that....uh....that uh....thingie."

  • "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

  • "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

  • "Darn, there go the lights again..."

  • "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em."

  • "Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!"

  • "Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off..."

  • "What's this doing here?"

  • "I hate it when they're missing stuff in here..."

  • "That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!"

  • "I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses."

  • "Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all."

  • "Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right?"

  • "Anyone see where I left that scalpel?"

  • "And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape."

  • "OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature."

  • "This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?"

  • "Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?"

  • "Don't worry. I think it's sharp enough."

  • "What do you mean "You want a divorce"!"

  • "She's gonna blow! Everybody take cover!!!"

  • "FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!"